Rabia's unconditional love for the Divine—requiring nothing in return—becomes a model for parents to love their children and themselves without transaction or control.
Rabia loved God with no hope of heaven and no fear of hell—love itself was the goal. This radical unconditionality is revolutionary in the context of addiction and parenting, where both are often rooted in transaction and control. Addicted parents may struggle with conditional love: 'I'll be present if you behave.' Children may learn to earn love through achievement or perfect behavior. Rabia's model suggests a different possibility: love as a given, not a reward. This doesn't mean absence of boundaries or consequences; rather, it means consequences arise from genuine care, not punishment rooted in wounded ego. A parent can set firm limits while conveying unshakeable worth. Children learn they are loved not for what they do but for who they are. This is the antidote to both codependency and abandonment, the secure base from which real growth emerges.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
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