The practice of offering devotion to adult children as an end in itself, releasing attachment to their gratitude, success, or reciprocation.
Rabia al-Adawiyya taught that true love exists independent of reward or recognition. In relationships with adult children, this means releasing the subtle expectation that they owe you gratitude, loyalty, or validation for your past sacrifices. This concept invites parents to examine whether their love contains hidden conditions—whether you love them less if they choose different paths, reject your advice, or establish boundaries. Applying Rabia's framework means cultivating a love that persists through disagreement and disappointment, asking "Do I love this person for who they are, or for who I need them to be?" This radical unconditional stance paradoxically strengthens relationships by removing the burden of earning parental affection and creating space for genuine adult connection based on mutual choice rather than obligation.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
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