The paradox that the deepest bonding happens when caregivers release possessive attachment and love the child as a separate being on their own sacred journey.
Rabia's love of God was characterized by complete surrender of ego and claim—she loved not to possess the Divine but to serve it freely. This illuminates a critical tension in early bonding: the infant needs deep attachment, yet authentic love requires the caregiver to gradually release control and ownership. A parent bound by Rabia's wisdom understands that the child is not an extension of their identity or a vehicle for their unfulfilled dreams, but a unique soul temporarily in their care. This shift from possessive to liberating love actually strengthens bonding because the child senses they are seen and valued for who they truly are, not for meeting parental needs. Early bonding rooted in this principle creates children who feel genuinely safe: they are loved without condition, but also without the burden of completing their parent. This framework helps navigate the paradox that we bond most securely when we love freely and release our grip.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
Explore related journeys or tell Peri what you're working through.