A practice of recognizing and releasing projections, loving the specific child present rather than the imagined version adoption was supposed to provide.
Every prospective parent arrives with hopes and fantasies. In adoption, these fantasies can be particularly powerful—savior narratives, fantasies of the 'perfect' family, or unconscious expectations about the child's personality, abilities, or gratitude. Rabia's radical presence demanded seeing the Beloved exactly as present, not as an idea. This concept asks adoptive parents to examine their projections and continuously return to the actual child in front of them: their genuine temperament, gifts, wounds, and needs. This is not passive acceptance but active love that responds to reality rather than fantasy. When a child doesn't match the imagined narrative—if they have trauma responses, special needs, or a personality different from expectations—this practice prevents the parent from experiencing the child as a disappointment. Instead, each child's actual self becomes the site of deep spiritual encounter and genuine belonging.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
Explore related journeys or tell Peri what you're working through.