The Spiritual Practice of Noticing Preference

Rabia's spiritual practice began with ruthless attention to her own heart. She noticed each preference, each attachment, each moment her love became conditional. This same practice becomes a tool for addressing favoritism. Each day, notice: Whose voices did I prioritize in conversations? Who did I give my full attention to, and from whom did I withdraw it? Whose mistakes did I forgive easily, and whose did I judge harshly? Whose presence felt like relief and whose like obligation? These observations aren't occasions for self-judgment but for honest data. Patterns emerge. You might notice you favor people who remind you of someone important, or who share your background, or who reflect back your own values. You might favor those who need you, or those who ask little of you. You might favor the articulate over the quiet, the confident over the uncertain. None of these preferences makes you bad; they make you human. But awareness creates choice. Once you see the pattern, you can experiment with different responses. Can you give your full attention to someone outside your preference? Can you look for merit in those you naturally doubt? Can you find something to appreciate in those who initially bore you? This daily practice rewires the unconscious patterns that drive favoritism, gradually expanding your genuine capacity for impartial love.