The Poverty of Preference

Rabia understood that choosing favorites impoverishes the soul. The poverty of preference operates on multiple levels: we spiritually diminish ourselves by allowing preference to govern our actions rather than principle; we diminish those we favor by suggesting they need artificial elevation rather than being inherently valuable; and we diminish those excluded, fragmenting the community into tiers of worthiness. When we practice favoritism, we deny ourselves the richness of encountering each person freshly, seeing their unique humanity rather than their usefulness to us. This poverty manifests as shallow relationships built on utility rather than genuine love. Rabia's alternative was radical: she cultivated what she called love without cause or motive, a spiritual abundance that required nothing from the beloved except their existence. In modern life, recognizing this poverty means understanding that favoritism doesn't enrich our lives—it narrows them. It restricts our capacity for authentic connection and prevents communities from developing the trust and cohesion necessary for genuine belonging.