The human tendency to rationalize favoritism as merit or necessity rather than recognizing it as preference—a blindness with serious consequences.
One of favoritism's most dangerous features is that we rarely see it as favoritism. We call it 'recognizing talent,' 'rewarding loyalty,' or 'supporting those who matter most.' Rabia's spiritual practice required brutal honesty about her own heart—she examined her attachments relentlessly to distinguish what she genuinely loved from what she merely preferred. This same honest examination prevents preference blindness. When we consistently promote the same type of person, hire from the same networks, or give opportunities to people who remind us of ourselves, we call it good judgment rather than bias. But preference blindness carries real costs: talent is overlooked because it doesn't match our type; diverse perspectives are excluded because they challenge our comfort; and those disfavored eventually perceive the pattern and withdraw. Communities suffer from invisible hierarchies where some people's voices carry more weight than others', not because of demonstrated wisdom but because they match the preference of those in power. Rabia's antidote was radical honesty: regularly ask yourself who you favor and why. Is it because they genuinely deserve advantage, or because they're familiar, similar, or already elevated?
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