Presence as the Antidote to Favoritism

Rabia's most distinctive practice was presence—bringing her whole undivided self to encounter with another person. Her students recalled that whether speaking with a caliph or a beggar, she gave complete attention. This presence is the direct antidote to favoritism. Favoritism requires splitting consciousness: part of us attends to the favored person while another part dismisses or hurries through interaction with the unfavored. We cannot favor someone while truly present with them, nor dismiss someone while genuinely present. True presence reveals the sacred in any person. It becomes impossible to rank people hierarchically when we meet their actual humanity. In practice, presence means: eye contact, listening without planning your response, remembering details about the person's actual life, noticing their presence in the room, asking questions that show genuine curiosity. It means showing up at the same time for the high-status person and the low-status person, offering the same attentive quality. Leaders practicing presence find bias diminishes—they notice talents in unlikely places. Parents practicing presence with each child dissolve favoritism naturally. This practice is difficult precisely because consciousness is finite and fragmented. We default to favoring those who demand less presence (because we already understand them) while neglecting those who require translation. The practice asks: With whom are you truly present? Whom do you see without projection? Who receives the scraps of your divided attention? What would change if presence became your only criterion for how to spend time?