The Practice of Presence Over Performance

Rabia rejected performance-based spirituality—the notion that God cares whether you pray a certain number of times or follow specific rules. What mattered was the quality of your presence, the state of your heart. Attachment parenting similarly asks: are you truly here with your child, or are you present-but-anxious about whether they're developing 'normally'? This distinction matters profoundly. A child who receives scattered, worried attention will sense the underlying anxiety. A child who receives full, calm presence—even for short periods—internalizes safety differently. Rabia's insistence on presence without agenda translates to the parent who can sit with their child's boredom, their tears, their ordinary Tuesday without needing it to mean something or lead somewhere. This quality of attention becomes the foundation of secure attachment, not the achievement of certain behaviors.