Examining motivation beneath relationship choices to ensure we're connecting from genuine care rather than self-interest, status-seeking, or habit.
Rabia taught that actions mean nothing without pure intention—the Arabic concept of ikhlas. She loved God not for paradise or to avoid hell, but for God's own sake. This concept applies directly to favoritism, which is often motivated by impure intentions: we favor people who enhance our image, make us feel good, or owe us favors. Pure intention in relationship means asking hard questions: Am I drawn to this person or to what they represent? Am I kind because I genuinely care or because I want something? Do I overlook people because they're actually hard to connect with, or because they don't serve my interests? This examination isn't about achieving perfection but about honesty. Rabia's tradition accepts that humans naturally prefer some people, but calls us to notice when preference becomes favoritism—when we act inconsistently with our values. Purifying intention means regularly checking whether we're treating people as ends in themselves or as means to our own comfort, advancement, or validation. This clarity transforms how we build community.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
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