Remembrance as Correction Practice

In Islamic spirituality, dhikr (remembrance) is both a practice of invoking the divine and a tool for reorienting attention. Applied to favoritism, remembrance becomes a corrective discipline: regularly bringing to mind specific instances when you showed favor, examining the justifications you used, observing the consequences that unfolded. This is neither self-flagellation nor guilt-spiraling but clear-eyed pattern recognition. Neuroscience supports this: repetition of reflection literally rewires the brain's associations. When you repeatedly notice that your favoritism toward someone created resentment in others, that it made you less effective, that it contradicted your stated values, that rewiring occurs at a level deeper than intellectual agreement. Rabia taught constant awareness of God; we might translate this as constant awareness of our relational patterns. Practically, remembrance practice might be: weekly review of decisions, asking specifically where you showed preference; journaling about someone you neglected while favoring another; peer accountability where friends help you see your blind spots; annual assessment of who you've invested in and whether it reflects your actual values. The practice is emotionally difficult—it requires you to see yourself as you actually are rather than as you wish to be. But it's extraordinarily powerful because it harnesses the brain's learning capacity. Over time, the nervous system itself becomes less attracted to favoritism because you've built lived awareness of its costs.