The recognition that pure devotion to children requires both self-giving and self-preservation, dissolving the false choice between selfish and selfless parenting.
Rabia famously said she loved God neither from fear of Hell nor hope of Paradise, but purely for love's sake. Applied to parenting, this dissolves the modern guilt binary: am I selfish for having boundaries, or selfless enough if I sacrifice everything? Rabia's pure devotion actually transcends this trap. True love for children means caring for yourself as part of their world—your wholeness and joy are their inheritance. A parent sustained by genuine love for their own life, passions, and needs models healthier humanity than one consumed by guilt-driven sacrifice. This especially challenges gendered expectations where mothers are praised for total self-erasure. Rabia invites us to ask: can I give authentically to my children while remaining fully alive? The answer is yes—and that is the deepest gift.
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