Recognizing the adolescent as a becoming person whose emerging identity may feel foreign to the parent.
Rabia spoke of encountering the divine through radical otherness and unknowing. The parent-teen relationship during adolescence often involves this same disorientation: the child you know is transforming into someone unfamiliar. Values shift, interests change, friendship groups reorganize, and emotional intensity peaks. Rather than resisting this strangeness, this concept invites parents to meet their teenager with the openness Rabia brought to encountering mystery. The adolescent is both familiar and unknown, requiring patience and curiosity rather than attempts to restore the previous relationship. This reframing reduces power struggles rooted in "you're not who I thought you were." Instead, it cultivates genuine inquiry: Who is this person becoming? What do they need from me now? This stance honors adolescent autonomy while maintaining parental presence and care through the disorienting transition.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
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