Releasing the fantasy of who you hoped your child would be and embracing their actual essence with radical acceptance.
Rabia surrendered completely to love, abandoning her will to merge with the beloved's. In attachment parenting, this translates to releasing your projections and meeting your child as they actually are. Every child arrives with temperament, preferences, and their own unfolding destiny. The attached parent practices continual surrender—releasing the image of the compliant child, the gifted child, the child who sleeps through the night. This surrender is not passive resignation; it is active, loving acceptance of reality. Your child is highly sensitive, or spirited, or anxious, or shy—and these truths deserve your devotion, not your correction. Rabia loved the Divine as it actually was, not as she wished it to be. Similarly, your authentic presence emerges when you stop trying to reshape your child and start celebrating their distinct essence. This doesn't mean abandoning guidance; it means guidance offered in service of their becoming, not your fantasy. A child who feels accepted in their essential nature develops secure attachment rooted in belonging to themselves first, then to others.
Peri can explain this concept, give practical examples, help you decide whether it applies to your situation, or recommend a journey if appropriate.
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