My partner and I are both trans and we keep having this circular argument about whether to move somewhere more accepting or stay and fight for visibility in our small conservative town, but underneath I think we're really arguing about two different ways of being brave and neither of us wants to admit we're scared. We've stopped being honest about what each choice would cost us personally because it feels like betraying the other person's vision of who we should be.
More people experience this than they realize.
You're discovering that your shared identity creates different imperatives for how to move through the world, and the fear of disappointing each other is preventing honest conversation about what you each actually need.
“Where Are You with LGBTQ+ Life?”
If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.