LibraryScenariosWhen couples speak different first languages and struggle to communicate emotions
Scenario

When couples speak different first languages and struggle to communicate emotions

My partner and I are both first-generation immigrants but from different countries, and when we argue, we both revert to our mother tongues and then feel completely misunderstood in ways that go beyond the actual disagreement. We've started avoiding difficult conversations because English feels too shallow for the real things, but our own languages shut the other person out.

Juana
Online
The coach is replying

More people experience this than they realize.

What we've seen

Language shapes emotional expression so fundamentally that shared vulnerability requires navigating multiple linguistic identities simultaneously.

Ideas that help explain it
Worth thinking about

“Where Are You with Language and identity — what your first language holds?”

If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.