LibraryScenariosWhen Buddhist no-self teachings complicate relationship boundaries
Scenario

When Buddhist no-self teachings complicate relationship boundaries

My partner and I both practice Buddhism but she thinks the no-self teaching means we shouldn't have personal boundaries or individual needs in our relationship. When I try to express my needs she says I'm clinging to ego, and when she merges completely with my emotions I feel suffocated but can't criticize her 'selflessness.'

Juana
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More people experience this than they realize.

What we've seen

Partners are struggling with how Buddhist concepts of selflessness should apply to maintaining healthy relationship dynamics.

Ideas that help explain it
Worth thinking about

“Where Are You with No-self and identity in Buddhist thought?”

If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.