My best friend and I both went through miscarriages around the same time but hers was at 8 weeks and mine was at 14 weeks, and somehow that difference has created this weird space between us where neither of us knows how to talk about our losses without worrying we're minimizing the other's pain or claiming too much space for our own.
More people experience this than they realize.
They are caught in the painful arithmetic of disenfranchised grief, where cultural hierarchies of 'legitimate' loss have created distance in a friendship that could be a source of mutual understanding.
“Where Are You with Disenfranchised grief — when loss isn't recognized?”
If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.