LibraryScenariosWhen couples disagree about how to observe a child's yahrzeit
Scenario

When couples disagree about how to observe a child's yahrzeit

My husband and I are approaching our daughter's first yahrzeit and we can't agree on how to observe it — he wants something small and private while I feel like we need our community there, and we're both afraid of dishonoring her memory by doing it wrong.

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More people experience this than they realize.

What we've seen

Two people who share the deepest loss are discovering that their needs for remembering and honoring diverge in ways that feel threatening to the sacred work of mourning.

Ideas that help explain it
Worth thinking about

“Where Are You with Jewish mourning — shiva shloshim yahrzeit?”

If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.