My husband and I both come from families where conflict was handled completely differently - his parents fought openly and made up dramatically, mine never raised their voices but seethed for weeks. When we disagree, we don't know which playbook to use and end up feeling like we're speaking different languages about something as basic as how to have an argument.
More people experience this than they realize.
Two incompatible templates for navigating disagreement are creating meta-conflict about how to conflict.
“Where Are You with Your Parents' Relationship and How It Shaped Yours?”
If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.