My husband and I come from completely different family models - his parents divorced when he was young and mine stayed together through everything - and we keep misreading each other's responses to relationship stress. When we hit rough patches, he assumes we need space to figure things out and I assume we need to work harder together, and both of us feel like the other person doesn't care enough.
More people experience this than they realize.
You're each applying the lessons of your childhood without recognizing how different those lessons were.
“Where Are You with Your Parents' Relationship and How It Shaped Yours?”
If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.