My mom and I have been cleaning out my grandmother's house together since she died, and we keep disagreeing about what to keep and what matters, but really we're grieving completely differently and using these objects to have fights about everything we can't say about losing her.
More people experience this than they realize.
Material objects become proxies for different relationships with loss, allowing people to argue about things rather than mourn together.
“Where Are You with Grief and regret — what we wish we'd said?”
If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.