My sister and I used to be close before we lost our brother, but now we grieve him so differently that being together feels like we're dishonoring his memory in opposite directions. She needs to talk about him constantly and I need stretches of not talking about him at all, and neither of us knows how to love him and each other at the same time anymore.
More people experience this than they realize.
The same love that once connected two people now divides them, as their different ways of honoring loss feel mutually incompatible.
“Where Are You with The death of a child — the unnatural loss?”
If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.