My wife and I finished sitting shiva for her mother last week and now we're in this strange space where she needs to talk about her constantly while I feel like I need some quiet to process, and we don't know how to be present for each other during shloshim.
More people experience this than they realize.
Partners find that the structured intensity of shiva gives way to the more ambiguous terrain of shloshim, where their different ways of processing loss can feel like abandonment rather than complementary grief.
“Where Are You with Jewish mourning — shiva shloshim yahrzeit?”
If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.