My wife and I moved to the U.S. fifteen years ago and when my father died last month, we had to choose between flying home for the traditional forty-day mourning period or staying here where our kids have school and we can't afford to miss that much work. We ended up doing this hybrid thing where we're trying to honor our grief traditions alone in our apartment, but it feels hollow without our extended family and community, and we're both carrying this guilt and disconnection that's making us grieve separately instead of together.
More people experience this than they realize.
The sacred container of communal mourning has been fractured by geography and circumstance, leaving two people to carry alone what was meant to be held by many.
“Where Are You with African grief traditions — communal mourning?”
If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.