LibraryScenariosWhen being needed feels safer than being wanted
Scenario

When being needed feels safer than being wanted

I keep choosing partners who need me more than they want me because being needed feels safer than being desired.

Mira
Online
The coach is replying

More people experience this than they realize.

What we've seen

The equation of worth with utility learned in childhood makes desire feel dangerous and need feel like security.

Ideas that help explain it
Worth thinking about

“Where Are You with Family-of-origin patterns in adult love?”

If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.