LibraryScenariosWhen couples discover incompatible pleasure philosophies and shame cycles
Scenario

When couples discover incompatible pleasure philosophies and shame cycles

My partner and I discovered we have completely different relationships to indulgence — they feel guilty about any pleasure that costs money or time, while I feel guilty about pleasure that seems 'unproductive,' and we've somehow created a household where we police each other's joy. Neither of us means to but we keep accidentally shaming each other for the ways we try to enjoy life.

Nas
Online
The coach is replying

More people experience this than they realize.

What we've seen

Two different systems of pleasure-regulation are creating mutual inhibition instead of expanded possibility.

Ideas that help explain it
Worth thinking about

“Where Are You with Pleasure and its examined life?”

If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.