My partner and I both have high-stress jobs and we've developed this pattern where we come home and basically trauma-dump our day on each other, thinking we're being supportive, but we both end up more activated than when we walked in the door. We can't figure out how to actually help each other decompress instead of just sharing the cortisol load.
More people experience this than they realize.
Two people are unknowingly co-regulating into higher stress states rather than creating the sanctuary they both need.
“Where Are You with Stress — the psychology and biology?”
If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.