Periagoge
Scenario

When couples use Abhidharma teachings to avoid emotional intimacy

My partner and I have been studying the Abhidharma together for two years and we keep getting stuck on whether our emotional reactions to each other are 'real' or just arising and passing mental formations. When we fight, one of us inevitably brings up impermanence or non-self and it feels like spiritual bypassing but also maybe it's genuine insight and we can't tell the difference anymore.

More people experience this than they realize.

What we've seen

You're using sophisticated psychological teachings as a defense against the vulnerability of actually feeling with each other.

Your guide for this
Patan
Patan works with people navigating exactly this kind of situation.
Ideas that help explain it
Worth thinking about

“Where Are You with Buddhist psychology in depth — Abhidharma?”

Peri

Peri can explain why this happens, help you decide if this is the right situation for you, and point toward the right journey or coach.

If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.