LibraryScenariosWhen one partner's EMDR progress reveals the other's unprocessed trauma
Scenario

When one partner's EMDR progress reveals the other's unprocessed trauma

My wife has been doing EMDR for her complex PTSD for six months and I can see how much it's helping her, but I'm starting to realize that some of her trauma responses that I learned to manage and work around were actually keeping me from dealing with my own stuff, and now I don't know how to bring up that I think I need therapy too without making her feel guilty about getting better.

Patan
Online
The coach is replying

More people experience this than they realize.

What we've seen

Individual healing can disturb the unconscious agreements that couples make around whose trauma gets attention, forcing both people to renegotiate their roles in the relationship.

Ideas that help explain it
Worth thinking about

“Where Are You with EMDR and trauma processing?”

If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.