LibraryScenariosHow to use DEAR MAN when saying no feels violent
Scenario

How to use DEAR MAN when saying no feels violent

I understand interpersonal effectiveness but I still cannot say no to anyone without feeling like I am stabbing them in the heart.

Patan
Online
The coach is replying

More people experience this than they realize.

What we've seen

The nervous system can interpret healthy boundary-setting as an act of aggression when it has been conditioned to equate others' comfort with one's own safety.

Ideas that help explain it
Worth thinking about

“Where Are You with DBT for emotional dysregulation?”

If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.