LibraryScenariosWhen parents and adult children avoid talking about past family trauma
Scenario

When parents and adult children avoid talking about past family trauma

My adult daughter and I both know that my drinking was a problem when she was growing up, but we've never actually talked about it directly — she'll make these careful references and I'll change the subject and we both pretend that's working. Now she's having her own struggles with anxiety and I wonder if my silence is making it worse for her.

Rabia
Online
The coach is replying

More people experience this than they realize.

What we've seen

A parent and child are both carrying the weight of unspoken hurt that's shaping their present relationship.

Ideas that help explain it
Worth thinking about

“Where Are You with Belonging and identity — who belongs here?”

If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.