My best friend and I have been through everything together for fifteen years, but lately when one of us gets upset the other one either shuts down completely or gets defensive, and we keep having the same fight about how we handle conflict — she says I'm too intense and I think she's checking out on me when things get real.
More people experience this than they realize.
Two people who love each other deeply have developed incompatible ways of managing emotional intensity, creating a cycle where each person's coping mechanism triggers the other's nervous system.
“Where Are You with Emotional intelligence and co-regulation?”
If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.