My father was abusive but he's been dead for two years and my therapist says I need to forgive him but I don't know how to separate honoring him as my ancestor from excusing what he did to me.
More people experience this than they realize.
Therapeutic forgiveness and ancestral veneration can feel incompatible when family members were sources of trauma.
“Where Are You with Ancestor veneration across traditions?”
If this sounds familiar, the Library can help you find the bigger picture.