Being around death all the time makes it hard to feel my own life, how do I reconnect?

You have carried thousands of families through death with a steady hand, and living so close to grief has dulled your grip on your own life. That numbness is not coldness. It is protection. You could not do the work if every loss landed fully, so a part of you learned to stand back. The trouble is that the standing back does not switch off when you go home. The steadiness is a gift to the families you serve, but you were not meant to live at arm's length from your own joys. Being near death so often can teach the opposite of numbness, if you let it: that your own days are short and worth feeling. The same nearness that dulls you can wake you up, depending on how you hold it. Choose one part of your life to feel on purpose, fully and without hurry. A meal, a person, a morning. Let yourself be present there the way you are present for the grieving, completely. You have spent your care on others' endings. Spend some of it on your own life, which is still going on.