How do I balance my soldiers' welfare and the mission?

You feel the pull because you care about both, and both are real. Your people's safety and the job you were given do not always point the same way. Carrying that tension is not a sign you are failing. It is the actual weight of leading. You will not dissolve this pull with the right decision. Some days you protect your people more; some days the mission asks more of them. What steadies a leader is not solving the tension but staying honest inside it. Your people can tell when you are carrying it for them, and that trust is worth more than any perfect call. When the weight feels heavy, name it to one person you trust, another leader who knows the ground. You do not have to hold it silently to prove you are strong. Set it down for a moment, then pick it back up. That is how you carry something heavy for a long time.