How do I build a life that isn't defined by my past?

You have reclaimed your identity and built a working life that is yours, not a shadow of your past. That is a genuine achievement, and it is worth pausing to honor it, because you built it against a current that pushes most people the other way. What you did is hard, and you did it. Still, a past does not stay quiet forever. It resurfaces, in a form to fill out, a question in someone's eyes, a moment of your own doubt. A life not defined by the past does not mean a life that forgot it. It means the past is one chapter, not the title of the book. You get to decide which parts of your story carry the weight. So when the past tries to reclaim the definition, return to what you have built and let it speak. The work, the relationships, the person you are now, these are the truer account. Keep tending them. And if it fits, let your story help someone still early on the road you have already walked. That is how a past becomes a source of strength instead of a sentence.