How do I carry responsibility for things I can't control?

You carry responsibility for outcomes that depend on far more than you can control, weather, other people, chance, systems that answer to no one. It is a strange and heavy position: fully accountable, only partly in charge. Feeling the strain of that is not a flaw in you. It is the honest shape of the job you do. The way to hold it without breaking is to draw a clear line between your part and the rest. Your responsibility is to prepare well, decide clearly, and act with full care in the moment. The outcome, though, is never entirely yours, because too many hands and forces touch it. If you take the blame for what you could not control, you will carry a weight that was never rightly yours. So separate the two on purpose. After a hard event, ask one question: did I do my part as well as it could be done? If yes, then whatever happened, you met your duty. Own your part completely, and set down the rest. That is not dodging responsibility. It is carrying it in a way you can survive.