How do I carry the weight of decisions about people's pay?

You know what everyone earns, and you help shape decisions that touch people's homes, their families, their sense of worth. When they are unhappy, some of that lands on you, even when the call was not really yours. That is a heavy, lonely spot to sit in, and the resentment stings because you are often just the messenger. Start by being clear about what is and is not yours. You work within budgets and rules you did not set alone. You are not the sole author of every person's paycheck, and taking on guilt for the whole system will crush you for no good reason. Carry your part, the fairness and care you bring, and set down the part that belongs to the organization. The resentment is easier to bear when you remember it is usually aimed at the situation, not at you as a person. Stay fair, stay discreet, and do not take the anger as a verdict on your character. One step: find one trusted peer or mentor you can speak to honestly about the pressure. Holding this much in silence is what makes it unbearable, not the work itself.