How do I carry the weight of every ventilator decision?

You can run any ventilator by feel now, and that skill comes with a shadow: the knowledge that a breath depends on your settings. That weight is the truest sign that you take the work seriously. But a weight carried without rest will eventually bend the one who bears it. Here is the thing to hold onto. You give your best judgment with the knowledge you have in the moment. That is all any human can do. The outcome belongs partly to the illness, the body, the odds, things that were never yours to command. Do your part with full care, then let the part that was never yours go. Try this at the end of a shift: name one decision you made well, and one thing that was simply out of your hands. Say them plainly, even under your breath. Carrying the weight does not mean carrying all of it. It means knowing which part is truly yours to set down.