How do I carry the weight of imagining every harm my AI could cause?

Your job asks you to live in the dark corners, to picture the harm so you can prevent it. Day after day, that imagining leaves a residue. You are trusted precisely because you will look at what others would rather not. That is real service, and it costs something. The weight you feel is not a flaw in you. It is the honest price of caring about people you will never meet. But you were not meant to hold it alone or without rest. Imagining harm is part of the work; becoming the harm you imagine is not required. Protect the person doing this hard job. Set the work down at the end of the day on purpose, and share the imagining with others so it is not all on your shoulders. You guard others best when you are not quietly breaking yourself to do it.