How do I carry the weight of people's jobs depending on me?

You can build a team and lead it. That is a real gift, and not everyone has it. But with it comes a heavy fact: other people feed their families because of choices you make. Feeling the weight of that is not a flaw. It means you understand what leadership actually is. Still, carry it honestly, not endlessly. You are responsible for making good decisions and being fair. You are not responsible for controlling every outcome, or for outcomes you could not see coming. Those two things get tangled in the mind at night. Keep them separate. Do your part well, and let the rest be the rest. When the weight feels too much, name it plainly to yourself: these are the things in my hands, and these are not. Then act on what is in your hands today. The people who depend on you are not served by your worry. They are served by your steady judgment.