How do I carry the weight of the people I had to turn down?

You have helped thousands into homes and out of hard spots, and you carry the quiet weight of the ones you had to refuse and the ones the system failed. That weight is the sign of someone who never treated the job as just numbers. You saw the people. That is to your credit, even though it is exactly what makes the noes so heavy. But be fair to yourself about what was yours to carry. You did not write the rules you had to apply, and a no that the system forced is not a cruelty you chose. You can grieve those outcomes without taking the blame for a machine you did not build. Holding guilt for things outside your power will only wear you down and help no one. Where you have room to help, use it fully, find the yes when it is honestly there, guide people to other doors, be kind in the noes. And where you had no room, let the weight rest with the system, not with you. You have opened a lot of doors for a lot of people. Let that be the truer measure of your work than the doors you were not allowed to open.