How do I cope when I manage everyone's chaos but mine?

You are the reason things do not fall apart. You hold the chaos together by sheer will, and everyone leans on that without ever asking how you are holding up. Carrying others while no one carries you is a real and heavy loneliness. Here is the hard part. The better you are at absorbing everyone's mess, the more invisible your effort becomes. People stop seeing the work because it always gets done. That is not your fault, but it is a trap you can start to step out of. You do not have to keep managing your own chaos alone. Name one thing you are carrying and hand a piece of it to someone else, even if they do it worse than you. And find one person, inside or outside work, who you let manage you for a change. You keep everyone steady. You are allowed to need steadying too.