How do I cope with holding everything together while no one notices?

You run a full docket without a crack showing, and that is precisely why no one sees the effort. Invisible work is like that. When you do it well, it looks like nothing was ever hard. That can leave you tired and strangely unseen, holding it all together while the world assumes it holds itself. The smoothness people take for granted is your craft. It does not need their applause to be real, but you do need to stop expecting the recognition to arrive on its own. It usually will not. The value has to be something you know and name for yourself. Two things help. Quietly keep a record of what you actually carry, so at least you can see it plainly. And where you can, let one seam show. Ask for help, or say out loud what a task really took. Being a little less invisible is not weakness. It is how the weight gets shared.