How do I find peace being the one everything rests on?

You have arrived somewhere hard-won: at peace being the one it all rests on, carrying the solitude without letting it crush you. That calm is not coldness. It is the mark of someone who has fully accepted their role and stopped fighting the weight of it. The thing to guard is that equanimity is not the same as going numb. A steady captain still feels the stakes; they just do not let the feeling run the ship. Keep the feeling alive, because it is what keeps you careful. The day you stop feeling the weight of the lives aboard is the day the calm turns into something more dangerous than fear. Renew it in small ways. Now and then, look at your crew and let yourself remember what you are responsible for, and why the peace you have chosen is worth keeping. The solitude is real and you have made peace with it. Return to that peace on purpose, and it will hold when you need it most.