How do I handle being out at work in some places but not others?

You are running a quiet calculation all day long: who knows, who does not, what I can say here, what I have to hold back there. It never fully switches off, and that low hum of watching yourself is tiring in a way that is hard to explain to anyone who has never had to do it. Name that plainly. It is real work, and you are carrying it on top of your actual job.\nThe calculus feels endless partly because you are treating every situation as a fresh decision. It does not have to be. Some circles you already know are safe, and you can stop re-deciding them. Let those be settled ground where you do not spend energy. Save the careful judgment for the places that genuinely call for it. You do not owe everyone the same openness, and you do not owe anyone your exhaustion.\nYou cannot control how safe the whole world is, but you can build yourself some steady ground within it. Find one or two people at work who know you fully, and let those relationships be the place you exhale. Even a single person who sees all of you changes how heavy the rest feels. Start by trusting one.