How do I handle the moral gray areas that still haunt me?

You have made peace with most of the hard calls. The ones that still keep you up are the ones with no clean answer, where any choice cost something. That they haunt you is not a flaw. It means you never stopped caring about right and wrong, even when the situation refused to give you a clean path.\nThe gray ones haunt everyone honest. A person who felt nothing about them would worry me more. You are not carrying guilt for doing wrong. You are carrying the weight of a moment that had no good option, and part of you still wants one to exist. It did not. That is the hardest thing to accept.\nWhen one of these returns, do not argue with it or try to solve it again. Name it plainly to yourself: this was a case with no clean answer, and I chose under pressure with what I had. Then let it stand. Write one of them down this week, just to move it out of your head and onto the page.