How do I recognize how much I've given away to keep working?

You can hold firm, caring boundaries with anyone now, and the chair stays steady because of you. But you are starting to see the price of that steadiness, how much of yourself you have quietly given to keep it all together. That reckoning is uncomfortable, and it is also a sign of wisdom arriving. The skill that lets you hold everything together can hide how much it costs you, because you are so good at absorbing the strain that no one sees it, sometimes not even you. Noticing now, before you are empty, is a gift. It means you can begin to give to yourself some of the steadiness you have spent years giving to everyone else. Start by honestly asking what you have set aside to keep the chair steady, your rest, your own needs, parts of your life. Name one and begin to reclaim it, in small ways. You do not have to overturn everything. You only have to stop the one-way flow and let a little come back to you. You kept it all together. Now include yourself in what you are holding.