How do I stop treating every conversation like a negotiation?

You can negotiate almost any deal to a good close, and the skill has become so deep that it now runs on its own, even in conversations that were never meant to be deals. Noticing this is a sign of real self-awareness. The very talent that made you successful at work has started to slip into places, with the people you love, where it does not belong. The thing to understand is that negotiation and closeness pull in opposite directions. A negotiation is about winning, positioning, getting the better end. Closeness is about honesty, trust, and wanting the other person to win too. When you run the negotiation script on your partner or your friend, you may come out ahead and still lose the actual thing, which was connection, not advantage. So practice putting the tool down when you walk in your own door. In your personal conversations, catch yourself angling for the win and choose instead to just be plain and honest, no strategy. Say what you actually feel and let them do the same. Not every conversation has a winner. The most important ones are the ones where you are not trying to win at all.